He halted his three-wheeled bicycle at the end of the block and allowed me to go first.

Thanking him, I tooled down the sidewalk, thinking of my upcoming pit stop and the journey after to get my case of water.

I felt my sandal slipping off my freshly bathed and lotioned foot and stopped along a fenced yard, using the wrought iron to brace my sandal as I pushed my foot into the soft grey leather using the force of my chair. Satisfied that the errant sandal was righted, I turned to leave.

As I did, I heard a strong but low male voice ask if I were alright. Startled, I said ‘Yes’ before looking up.

It was the man on the three-wheeled bicycle. His skin was as dark and smooth as a moonless midnight and glistened under the early afternoon sun. I wanted to touch the few deep soft wrinkles on this Elders’ face. And I knew if I asked, he would have let me. But I have manners and I minded them.

The wellness check now over, I thanked him and began to tool away again when he stopped me.

“Can I say something to you?”

I took a deep breath, faced him and said, ‘Yes, sure” with my best smile.

“I always see you around here, in this area and at the busses in Aventura mall. And you know… I’m just gonna say it… – I like you. From the first time I’ve seen you. You seem so sweet. If you let me, I’d like to take care of you. I’d do everything you need.”

Taken aback, I look to the sandy sidewalk.

I had never seen this man. Not in this area before today and not at the bus terminal at the mall. It was at once disturbing that he knew where I frequented and at the same time comforting.

Comforting because he seemed so genuine in his declaration. He didn’t try to placate me with platitudes or lull me with insincere compliments. He just came out and said what was on his mind. And I have to say, it felt good to know that someone wanted to take charge and want to care for me, though I’m quite sure he would not know all what that would entail.

I wished for a lot of things in that moment. I wished that I were an older, spry lady that caught his eye so that I would have matched him better. I wished he were the ever elusive butch women I pray everyday would approach me this way. I wished I didn’t have to turn him down, since I’m sure it took so much moxy and courage to tell me what he just did. But most of all? I wished in my life to know the kind of togetherness that he was offering from the right woman that was ready to give it to me.

Seeing my hesitation and being ever the Gentleman that I sensed that he was, he offered me an out.

“I don’t even know if you’re married or if you have someone… But I had to tell you this.”

I demurely look down, then to his eyes and say, “Yes, I am with someone.” Gently, softly and I smile. I pray that the rehearsed lie holds and that my desire to be loved and cared for does not betray my words, thus inviting a rebuttal.

He nods in defeat and as quickly as he appears, he is gone. The “lie” has done its job. Though usually I roll my eyes after these encounters and give a sigh of relief, today I feel defeated and a bit sad. How many more of these will I have to turn down before the right one comes along? Will the Right One come along ever?

I stop the flood of questions before they ever really begin and push this mounting sadness somewhere deep and dark. I remind myself that I have a pit stop to make and water to buy.

Go.

So I go, trying to out run the ever present mourning of myself that I’ve yet to out run.

I close my eyes for a bit and just Go.

#TrueStoriesOf2016 #DisabledChronicles #HeartStuff