That one day, you head to your electrologist appointment and what is normally a very painful but necessary part of your life to keep you from looking like a mama bear, has you sitting there asking her if the machine is turned on cause you’re not feeling any of the customary bee sting-like pin pricks that you’ve come to expect.
 
Two machines and three needles later, she has confirmed that indeed the machine(s) are on and working, at which point you advise her, “Maybe it’s Me…” and you proceed to explain how this last bout of migraine was so bad that your new-ish meds didn’t even work to halt it and that since then your body has been a bit weird, pain-free but weird. To further illustrate this point, as she rids your upper lip of any fuzz you nary blink, where as prior you’d be curled up in the fetal position cursing whichever hairy ancestor cursed you with this hairiness.
 
Paying her your duckets and heading about your day, you begin to wonder what mutant super powers your body has conjured up now and how low key interesting/exciting this is when you realize that it’s time to head home. So you grab hold of your Starbucks Mango Lemonade Iced Tea and floor it to your bus stop.
 
Making it safely to your stop, you board the bus and get pissed as the island driver gives you a hard time about not swiping your pass. You try to explain to him how your arms can’t reach to swipe and he answers back, “Well mine can’t either!” mockingly. And you watch as your mouth replies, “Then I dunno what exactly you want me to do or why we’re even having THIS damn conversation!” and proceed to stink-eye/side-eye him all at the same time as you make sure he fastens down your chair.
 
Still pissed as the bus makes it’s way to your side of town, you wonder what’s wrong with people when out the corner of your eye to your right (since you’re sitting to the right of the driver, facing forwards), you spot a cement truck that has slowed down considerably and a black SUV behind it that has not followed suit, but instead is going way too fast and at the last minute decides to change lanes JUST as the very bus YOU are on is changing lanes to try and avoid that horrid potential accident.
 
And you see it – the SUV is close to your side as you close your eyes and brace for impact.
 
You feel the bus veer to the left, you feel the SUV hitting the bus, you feel your chair brakes squeal for their lives as they hold steady but despite their effort your chair lurches forward and presses your left foot into the wheel well in front of you, you feel the entire left side of you slide forwards in your chair, despite your seat belt pulling against your gut, you feel the whole of you contract as best as your weak muscles can…
 
And in an instant, it’s over.
 
You open your eyes, glad that there is no blood, no glass, no broken or hurt body parts.
 
You reach out and touch your legs, knees, stomach. You look to the side and check to make sure your face is intact.
 
And you send your Sister a message, and call your Nephew: “I’m on a bus that just had an accident. I’m okay, shaken up, but ok”
 
After making sure you truly are in a whole piece, you’re allowed to go… and you marvel at how you just rolled away from a serious accident and didn’t get hurt.
 
And so you thank every good thing of the Universe, every baby Jesus, every brown Buddha and every angel and saint that you’re no worse for the wear. And it’s not until later, when Nephew is adjusting you in your chair that he realizes exactly how hard the impact was as he says, “Your entire body shifted from how you were sitting this morning!”
 
Feeling pain, more like tension rising in your left shoulder, you flex and hear your neck crackle and pop from swelling. Not pushing your mutant super powers, you decide to have Nephew brew up some Turmeric Milk for you for the night, as you suspect your body might be achy later/in the morning. And to your surprise, your body allows the pain slightly, then quells it, even as it moves, even as you worry, your body just makes it dissipate and you are shocked but drink your Turmeric Milk anyway.
 
And again you are thankful, for your body being weird today and keeping you from feeling the pain of being jerked while on that bus, you’re thankful for whatever good prayers have been said for you and on behalf of you, thankful that you get to live to see another day?
 
No? Never happened to you?
 
#ThankYouNinoJesus #BlessMeBuddha #IWasShook #WTRealF #YallAlmostLostMeToday #StillShocked #ThankYouTurmericMilkForHealingMyPain #TrueStoriesOf2017 #DisabledChronicles