Disabled Chronicles, No.514
Having escaped the Second Coming of the Flood, you become hesitant to over hydrate.
But as the day goes on, you realize that hydration is a must. So you mete out your water consumption slowly, to ensure that your kidneys don’t turn into prunes.
As you finish the little bit of water in your first bottled water of the day, you go to reach for your second bottle only to realize in absolute dejection that your aide forgot to open the bottle.
After seeing red and muttering “Fuck this shit Bro!”, your mind begins to scan your options.
Sure, you could employ the use of The Nephews’ strength, again. But the last time his 17 yr old self was called to help you, he grumbled like a usual 17 yr old the entire time. You can’t blame him really: he’s 17.
Time to get creative. You scan your room for a sharp, thin object, then remember the thin pink genuine Swiss Army knife in your purse, which is hanging on the back of your chair, which you can’t reach. 😑
Plan B – you head to the kitchen and abscond a sharp steak knife and proceed to surgically slice the thin water bottle plastic with a medium sized X, above the water line and below the offending closed top that is screwed on tighter than how life screws you.
Satisfied that your X is sufficient, you push your bendy straw through the hole and smile at your Ghetto McGyver handiwork. You take a big slurp in celebration (but not too big, lest you summon the flood) and sit back and bask in yet another victory.
You answer your Little Sister’s quizzical stare and finger pointing at the clearly mutilated bottle with an off-handed, straight-faced “…I was thirsty.” And continue on with your Life.
#McGyverLife #MakeItHappen #WhatObstacles #YouAintReady #LetTheNephewBeAKid #ThirstNoMore #DisabledChronicles #TrueStoriesOf2016