I generally relegate my grocery shopping to Sundays. While most folks are at church, I make my way to the mainly empty stores to get my shopping done for the week, usually without incident.
So it was without particular exception that I did the same this Sunday. I had the Nephew hand me my purse and I was out. It would be a short trip.
Once at the store, I passed one of my usual helpers on my way in. I should have asked her to have them pull her from whatever she was doing to help me. She knows my style, she’s used to me. But I decided to play by the rules and ask the Customer Service Desk to assign someone to me.
Perhaps it was the fact that football season is afoot or that school is back in session but all my regulars seemed to be “missing” from their posts. I became curious as to whom they would find to help me.
I soon found out.
They assigned me Abuelita.
Abuelita has to be in her late sixties, the arthritis in her hands and ankles have taken up shop but with all the knarled age of her joints, she is working as a bagger at Publix and WILL.NOT.BE.DETERRED.
I took a deeep breath, looked at my list and told Abuelita that though I didn’t have but a handful of items to get, I thought that it would be a better idea to get a shopping cart than a hand basket. She agreed without hesitation because Abuelita was not about the #HandBasketLife – that was obviously for the young strapping boys.
I realized that I was immediately in for it because everything I asked Abuela to put in the cart, she had the overwhelming compulsion to sheath in one of those thin produce bags – you know the ones you put your limes in? Your scallions? The one you use to wrap your chicken in so chicken juice doesn’t contaminate your other purchases? Yes, that one. Abuelita proceeds to wrap my green peppers, scallions, limes, chicken, canned tuna, boxed chicken broth, toothbrush & toothpaste not to mention my dryer sheets in, you guessed it, their own individual bags. Despite my protests and objections.
I mind my elders – they have wisdom which surpasses my understanding. So I respected Abuelitas’ wisdom in wrapping my EVERYTHING and tried not to cringe when we got to the check out and the cashier had to carefully undo, scan, then re-do Abuelita’s handiwork.
Fully scanned and ready to pay, Abuelita advises me that the cashier will help me with my various and sundry methods of payment. She was obviously not about anything other than cold hard cash, especially not these new-fangled chip-debit cards. She coolly crossed her hands over my reusable grocery bagged items and chilled while we youngins’ handled the payment.
Payment completed, she asked what I wanted to do with my bag. I advised her to place one handle on each arm of my chair in the back. She straight ADVISED me that she did not pack the dryer sheets in with the food and that it would have to hang in yet another SEPARATE plastic bag on the back of my chair.
I am certain of two things today about the wisdom of Abuelita:
1) my groceries have never been packed better
2) DON’T question Abuelita’s ways.
#DisabledChronicles #ICantMakeThisShitUp #TrueStoriesOf2016