Disabled Chronicles – COVID-19 Edition, No.23
That one time you steal out yo house to make a quick trip to Walgreens to get some OTC meds cause you ran out and though delivery would have been optimal it was 1) too expensive and b) wouldn’t arrive until next week 🙄
So you convince yourself that the quick trip would be worth it and you head out at top speed, causing your front wheels to rattle like they about to give up on life, while you watching the time cause #LegDay is about to pop off in 40 minutes.
And you dismount that curb right before the Main Street you have to cross, a little too fast, a little too abrupt, maybe a bit too wreckless and you watch as if in slow motion, your driving hand losing contact with your chair controller and everything comes to an abrupt stop.
And there you are feet from the safety of the sidewalk, not quite in the middle of the street but damn near close enough that you’re terrified that a none too alert driver would plow into you and you’d have bigger things to worry about than COVID-19?
So you calm your nerves the fuck down and assess how you can help yourself out of this predicament and realize that your hand is too far down for you to overcome gravity, even with your #Spinraza enhanced muscles, so you use your left hand with your clumsy fingers to dial your Little Brother and calmly try to explain where you are and what happened and to come and rescue you.
Just after this call, a whole Dade County Metro bus comes rolling up and you think maybe you can get help, only for him to toot his horn, even as you yell at the top of your #SMA weak lungs that ‘I NEED HELP!!!’ But all he does is toot his horn again, pull up closer then drive off?
But not too much later, you watch as one car, then another and then another Metro bus come close and NO ONE gets out of their car to see if you need help but just drive on by?
As you sit there waiting for your Little Brother, contemplating your life choices, you eye the off duty bus driver across the street, who is waiting on a ride back to the bus depot and blessedly you are thankful that her and the Neighborhood Drunk Lady are making their way to you and begin to have faith in humans again…
Bus Driver: What happened?! Do you need help?!
Me: YES!!! Please! My arm… it fell off the controller, I need help putting my arm back up… can you just put my arm back up?!
Bus Driver:… but you have a phone – why don’t you call for help?
Me: I did! I’m waiting on my Little Brother but all I need is help putting my arm back up… just put my arm… see my arm? Just put it back on my chair!
Bus Driver:… why don’t you call 9-1-1?!
Me: 😳 WHY?! I JUST NEED HELP PUTTING MY ARM BACK ON THE CHAIR!!!!
Neighborhood Drunk Lady: ([EDITED TO ADD: With her morning beer in hand] Walks around bus driver to my driving arm, grabs my wrist, puts my arm back on my chair/controller)
Me:OMG!!! Thank you! Thank you so much! (Looks at bus driver, exasperatingly) THAT WAS ALL I NEEDED!!!!!!
Bus Driver… oh. That was all?
Neighborhood Drunk Lady: 😎
Just then, my Little Brother comes jogging up and I have him walk me to Walgreens cause at this point I don’t trust people or my traitorous driving arm.
I marvel and bitch the whole way home how this hasn’t happened in never and what the entire fuck was that?! Meanwhile my arm is burning on the inside and as we arrive back home, my PT is there cause of course, #LegDay 😑
No? Never happened to you?!