I debated writing this one up…
It was said to me today, ‘ugly bitch… fat ugly bitch… don’t fuckin’ look at me! That’s why you’re in a wheelchair right now all fucked up(flexin’ on me about 6 or so feet away). Try somethin’- bitch!’
This by a young man who was clearly out of his gotdamn mind.
To be fair, half the people on the bus were being called bitch. Even the ones who he was demanding a dollar or change from.
He made an exceptionally long tirade when it came to me though.
I was terrified for my safety. Generally there is someone on the bus who would have jumped to my defense.
Alas, I was on my own with this one.
I would generally stare down offenders and dare their stupid asses to try something. But with seething indignation I kept my mouth shut and looked away.
I wasn’t trying to get physically assaulted on top of the verbal assault I had just received. This would be a whole different post if I tried to stick up for myself out of principle. I was stuck, chair tied down, on a moving bus with no escape.
I was acutely aware that by the time the driver would have stopped the bus to pull dude off of me, I would probably have been unalived.
I was just on my way to make a return. He was a random crazy person. I was not feeling very safe. I was also feeling humiliated. I was feeling overly seen in a way that made me super self conscious.
For what it’s worth, the driver, seeing the distress in my face when we arrived at my destination, apologized to me profusely and even threw in a darlin’ and Baby Girl in for good measure.
To be honest, I wish he would have parked the bus and offered me protection during the commencement of the verbal assault. I really wish the driver would have thrown him off the bus.
But I had to keep my Self as safe as possible and make it to my destination and then back home.
To be a disabled Black Woman in this world…